I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
