Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
