i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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