Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
