I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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