but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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