The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
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I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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