i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is Oprah even human
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
