Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
