I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I could fuck to npr.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
