Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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