she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
smell my finger.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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