and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
