She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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