come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
