4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
