remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
