i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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