Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
