I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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