I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
