It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize