I smell stomach acid.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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