Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
