She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
