I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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