Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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