Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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