just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize