not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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