Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I did not marry a roomba.
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