If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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