And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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