we have pet lesbian snakes
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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