@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize