and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
