i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
