I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dignity is for republicans.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
