Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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