I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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