Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
