you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
