I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize