youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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