This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
