i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
