so that wasnt chicken after all
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
