Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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