ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
