I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
