I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
