At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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