When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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