lets start a swedish sibling band together
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
