He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
