I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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