Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.

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(301): View more from Maryland

My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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(602): View more from Arizona

the head trauma was worth the blowjob.

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(727): View more from Florida

You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?

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(217): View more from Illinois

Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"

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