Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
