Dual....:-)
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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