if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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