wakey wakey hands off snakey
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
