dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
