once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
