Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
