i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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