Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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